Van

CANADA BABY!

Check out my site, JohnnyOldschool.com. I eat Disgusting foods, I review bad movies, and I'm usually drunk.



Strength----------------80
Constitution-----------47
Agility-------------------20
Intelligence------------99
Vitality------------------62
Penis Size------------01
Luck---------------------00

Johnny grew up in the mean streets of NewOrleans, and made a living as a coke mule for an underground mob boss. He won his freedom in a game of strip poker after the sight of his naked body caused the crime lord to die from exhaustion after vomiting for over three hours straight. After getting his dead conjoined twin removed from his belly, Johnny moved to Canada to start a new life as a seal clubber. After Greenpeace took away his livelihood, Johnny endeavored to make it in the porn industry. However, due to the fact that High Definition cameras hadn't been invented yet, Johnny was forced to quit after it was discovered his penis was too small to be seen on film. Alone, and forgotten, Johnny managed to scrape together just enough cash for a computer, a video camera, and an internet connection by selling his body parts for medical research. Deformed and infertile, Johnny now makes a living by entertaining literally DOZENS of braindead fans with his unsuccessful youtube series, "WTF?"

World of Warcraft, Prototype, Supreme Commander, Fallout 3, Oblivion, L4D2, Minecraft, PC

Earthbound